Why?

I am not a very good daughter, but I never argue with you. What you say sometimes it’s really hurt me; I will think that we don’t have enough communication. When I got problem with you, I will tell my friends so that I get some 1 who listen to me.. Then i will feel better..

i know u care for me, but the way you care is much more different. I know sister make u laugh a lot, that’s why the way you treat her also more better than me.. But did you know sometimes is really hurting me?

I will always ask my self.. izit what I do is not enough good? izit my result not as good as other people? Sometimes when I dint answer you when u are scolding me, is not because I admit it, is i know, whenever I said, u will deny..

Do you know how much i hope to go UK for study? I know that i am not really good in study, but I already try my best to do so. To prove to you that I am not only play with my friends, I also study very hard at the last semester to show you my result. I really regret that I dint make a good decision, I should stand strong that loan and go Uk. I know is my fault as you said. Is I am the one who let go the opportunity. But mom, I did really tell you few times I hope to go, even till may I still got say that the loan can get it, tuck cheong still can apply for it. I really hope to study at UK, I really regret.

I really really regret, no one will understand my feeling. All persuade me that go next year. Next year? Who will be my group mate? House mate? Who will accompany me in the flight? Does the currency next year still within 6? Can I study fees is still around only 25k? Did I still can enjoy with my friends? Next year, so easy to say so but yet hard to do.

When you tell me that I am waste if I go there just because of wana spend more time with friends. This hurts me. I work so hard, but, for you, you dint see it.



Yea, work hard doesn’t means you really being appreciate. Like my job, I work so hard to do my job, even when my leg injured, I still stand mostly the whole day and serve the customer. When I get scold because for them I am just a promoter, the voice of tone they use is not in a good manner. But I will still replying them in a good way. Many of customer will buy the phone is because of my explanation and attitude, I get quite a lot of good comment from them, but end up how? Giving you guys said that I dint push the plan well, I am lazy by just sitting there. The reason you terminate me is also very funny. Because I ask the customer to buy outright purchase, hahaha, the point is, that day I am not feeling well and I had back home earlier. Then who will be the hell that told you those thing? When I wana resign that time , you are the 1 who want me to stay and help you, now u said that is me who want resign that is why I act so lazy and wont serve customer. Wahaha, whats a funny joke, even my manager call to complain but you not take this. I wonder why will become like this? I am hardworking, even my manager said that he call to complain for the 2 new gals, they dono anything, even English also not very good.
2nd example that works so hard also doesn’t being appreciated. What I had done? Why am I the one who always like this? Being treat like this? What I have done? Am I really so bad? That’s why people don’t like me? Do I treat other very bad?

I really did not lie, I never go out movie alone with him, I never take away him from you, how I gona say to make u guys believe? We are really good brother at first, really. I never lie, I am really lesbian last time, do I need to report it and tell everyone? I am also afraid in guys, then how? I never said that I in love with his friends, I dono how you got the information, but please don’t said that I am lie.

But you are more genius, you said about me, write what ever you like to write, and post it, and got your friends help you to post it. I also dint do anything. You still can said that I am “恶人先告状”.. hahaha, said that I am very fake attitude. Ok, let us see who is the one who really fake k.

1st. Every time you tell him, 2days onwards, you guys will be only good friend, but then you will out him out for movie. Just two of you. You said that you got gathering at klang, then ask him out for movie. I wana ask, when u gathering also till night already, then only you ask him go movie, then sure is want him sent you back home. Okay, then what makes me hurt is, he only promise me will go watch movie with you, but end up u guys go yam cha, because something wana chat, till midnight, then how? Izit u will think that this is a “报应” to me? haha it is not, because I never watch movie with him alone. It is big geng, and I am not sit beside him.

2nd. You sms him, forward message, all those, is normal right? Friends also can sent message what.. Am I right? But then.. Why you said that I am third party???? I also sms him, and forwards message, and 1 more thing, I sms him sometimes is because of works, sometimes is because I am sad, need some friends. Honestly, he n my friends, one geng 1, has help me a lot, so that’s why I am very dependent to them, I never lie, I got sms him, but, NOT only him. I never said anything that hurt or destroy your relationship.

But what you did is awesome. You sms him asked him to give a call to wake you up, means morning call, and you both say it is a sweet memory, you very miss the time that you two morning call each other, you miss his voice when wake up.

You sms him ask him break up with me. this is what you do. Say that you miss him, you two call each other dear. Then you more clever, say that izit not good to do so? You don’t hope to get ”报应”..then say that canot be like this. But you still keep sms him.

Do you know what u do, is more hurting me? u said I am third party, but when the time me n him “ai mei” is after u guys break up, and together also after u guys break up. And what you did is when me n him still in relationship, in my exam week. I can already feel that something wrong with him. I need to handle stress in exam, handle stress that mommy not like him, now still handle the hurt you and him bring to me. you and him, do more things that is over. Am I right? You are clever.

That time I already ask him, if you still in love with her, then go ahead. He still scolds me that I am think too much. After we break up, I know the truth, he sms you said that he is very regret, he wana be with you, he will wait for you. Then I thought the games over, you two will be back together, live happily, because I am gone, the 3rd party gone.

But you very funny, you told him that u guys only can be friends, and he still take some times to think about it. You want him break up with me, then now we break up already, then you wana treat him like that? What u think about love? Izit so fun that break other people relationship for your own . then when you get it, then you just destroy it?

Then you still ask him out for one time to say that you wana chat again, to make sure u guys from now on really friends only, wont have any chance to get back together. Izit really so fun to do so?

But your “friends only” just for few weeks, then you ask him out at valentine again. Wahahah, really want to say that you are good.

3rd. you more geng than me lor, half month when we get back already, then you ask him to fetch you to shah alam to do something, okay. I want to ask, what so urgent that must him to fetch? You don’t have any friends? Why last time you say I ask his help is I am third party? While you ask him is only friends? Ok, I tot u guys really fren, I already tell him I really doesn’t like, but, he hurt me again, he still go. And, you are such a good friend that the next day only, then u asked him AGAIN to fetch you. Izit really only him can help you? Do you really think that it will not hurt me? or you purposely wana do so, so that u will think I can feel the hurt you feel last time? But I can sure, you never feel the pain I feel, when you need help, he will go for u, argue with me also go for you, but last time, I need help he never do so, because we are only friends last time.

I keep wonder, why u two wana do this to me? he still canot let go you, you canot let go him, then why don’t want to be together?

You keep say is friend only, then why midnight sms him ask him what he is doing? Call him as him where he is?

4th. When u guys gathering. Why I allow him to go? Because I learning to trust him, u and him is only friend. Ok, then sure friends can go out together. Then I asked him, how if she ask you to fetch her back. He scold me o, said why I always think that they got something. I request him to answer me. But he mention “how she go, then will be how she back”. Then, what make me cry infront of public, in the bus stop, in toilet, in working place.. is he never be truth to me. when I call you that time, you never told me you fetch her, then I thought you really never fetch her, I also feel happy that you enjoy ur gathering. But, I asked him the other day, only he said he is the one who fetch her back. I feel disappointed, not because you fetch you friends back, is because you never tell me when we got chat. Is really hurt, then I take a noon to control my feeling, because is dangerous for a gal who back. But u should tell me, inform me, I really only want a thruth from you, because u should tell me.

I tell myself to trust you more, then I called him again, and asked him, who fetch her go, as he said, who fetch her go should fetch her back. And he tell me he is the 1 fetch her go as well. This time, my heart broken, like stop beep already, I can feel that no words can come from my mouth. But what make me heart more pain is, when he tell me, this is why, I bring along my best friends go along, so that when I fetch her, will not be only he and her. Whahahahaha can you tell me, is this sentence bring some meaning that “ he got feel wana fetch her home?”

Hey, when my ex wana come fetch me home, what he said is, why he wana do so? Ex wana fetch me is because friends only, but why you think is not that simple? While you doing the same?

I don’t understand!!! Really don’t, I can do it for you, because I will know if I do so, it will hurt you, and affect our relationship, so that’s why, my leg injured, I also take bus home, then walk 15 minutes home alone.


But, why don’t you do the same for me? why wor? Am I really not worth to get love and cares from you??

5th, you post the pictures that you take at his house, his room, and you said is very memorable. How should I feel?

6th, very funny lo, I work in maxis, then is like a faith, maybe god also don’t hope that I be with him. My colleague check the rooming charges that we both called. And she said that why my bf go UK only few month, need to chat in sms for so much in a day before or not o. then I curious, because that day I sleep so early. Then my colleague asked me, the number izit your’s one? After I saw it, is like, why again and again, is you sms him again, a lot of sms, I do not know what you both chat. But when until I read again ur blog, say that u waiting him to call you before he go UK, then only u awake that is not worth to wait someone is not belongs to you, means that u still waiting him? Finding opportunity to be with him? Am I right?


i am very tired of all this, all also my fault, i try so hard also no used. i would like to findsome one chat, all also not around, all also dint listen to me. just will asked me, never mind la, this is ur mom pater, nvm la, this is his patern, nvm la, as long you dint do it, what eevr people said is not use, nvm la, just be happy la, next year still can go Uk, but who know what i want?