six sense..boubt..worry..problem really occur..sad..control..keep it inside..hurt

9th Dec, i waiting u for whole night, i dont even get a sms, HA..start to think too much again..

isit u going to celebrate her bday celebration? did she call u? did u 2 sms?

STOP thinking..happily wait u home.. when u reached.. u said u will call me after..but i have wait an hour..when i call u, ur line engage.. FULL.. my mind full of the image that u calling her..sweet sweet talking..

Dear..Babe...

i hate this words...i hate..

i do not know how to stop thinking..i hope to cry out..but..is like tears just hanging there..

untill i sms u the second time.u still never reply.my heart.. is like stop function..

dial ur number, start to call u..

u said u SLEPT..

I am really sorry that i do not believe u i really hope to tell u sincerely i am sorry that doubt on u.. really really sorry, i just very scare all this happen again..


then 10th dec..
we had fun at the laundry with our geng, i am so happy that we can take pictures at the streets there..without arguement..this is what i thought..i very scare actually when we are going laundry and know that there is christmas decoration..

LAST YEAR........

okie..stop... i tot this year wil be ok..

BUT....Wwhen we on our way back home..u receive a message..FROM HER AGAIN..

"dear.. u forgot my birthday" ...honestly.. how shud i let go..feel nothing?
she is the 1 i mind alot.. i do not know what she want.. when we togather..she did said miss u..flirt with u.. we break up..she reject u..doubt on u..what she want? why she wana trewat u like this?

she delete ur fb..and now she sms with the opening DEAR...

is she is a normal fren..i will jeolous..bt..wont feel HARD IN HEART..

i do not know how to tell u.. i feel sad... i just hope u understand..i mind alot.. i am really scare..

and the IMPRANT IS u NEVER promise me u WONT CONTACT WITH HER.. i dint ask u do so at 1st..because i tot..u got ur rights, u know which will be the best way to ignore all this..prevent the problems happen again...
i tot..u said u NED TO HANDLE SOMETHIGN is means..atleast..in this meant time..the time i am healing from all this ....u wont contact her..maybe after ...u will contact.. i do not know... just..u never said what u will do... i feel unsecure... but...i also not really mean want u to say so...

i also hope to control my feeling..really..i hope i got cnfidence..

looking at our pictures taken..i really hope to upload and use as hp or msn pic..bt i remember..she said is irritating..and u delete it straight away.. this really hurt.. is like a scar that never heal...

do u know..i always dont post our pic..dont use it as msn pic.. i just feel like..i ad canot do as normal couple can do..

i hope to forgot all those unhappy thing... heart feel..not well... i want to forgot.

i really do......