Totally can't accept what u doing right now

" this is a nice restaurant, u should bring ur family come to try for it"

This is what u said to me, u are my bf, is this u should say to me?

Well is not suppose to say " this nice restaurant which I will bring u try next time / ur family come with us next time" ????

I dono how should I think..

Then next morning, I asked u to hv a breakfast with me.

And u answer " here got restaurant? I do not know where we can eat breakfast."

Then I feel sien, u still act like dono why I emo.. Haha, just one day, u can react be the same and forgot what u promise..

Izit same as ming hong said? What u did really make me feel uncomfortable, so we should break up?

I hope, I wish

Yesterday I went to club, without u, I really dint feel happy at all, not enjoy!

I always tot u not care for me, sometime hope other guy will treat me better, gik gik u..
But I really dono y I love u so much..
Yesterday that guy very handsome, keep fi d way talk to me.. But I dint really talk to him... I keep thinking..

" why I can control myself don't talk to LENG Zai even u are not around? I can don't chit chat or kidding or flirting.? "

Not say u will flirting, just u and me not same, u can talk to a sales gal, very funny,iu them keng gai, u can chatting with them full of smile..

Sometime I will got hard feeling d..

Suddenly think of this holiday, u promise will acc me.. But do u realize ? Thursday u told me Friday got futsal, Saturday got bbal? I not blaming u sport, but u dint tell me except ur pLAN for sport, u got eat plan to do with me.. Special diner? Lunch?

I very happy that u plan to bring me go BBQ plaza.. Thank you, this plan ad make me feel warm.. But this nor means everytime u can say n not bring me go..

I think of anniversary, Lao gong , honestly, I really very concern on this year anniversary.. 1st time in my life celebrating thiseaningful date. Last year can't, I really hope this year can.. When u say u forgot, honestly, this show , is a signal to all peole, is u don't care our relationship, why I mind??

Why I don't trust u really care for us?

No, I am not. Just why u can remember ur ex aniversary? And not ours?

I am sorry I think so.. Just.. From the start u ad gv me alot past experience, u treat her good more than me..

Sorry.. Just my valentine n anniversary u gv me bad experience.. Is all gals dream for that day but...


But u did hurt me.. A deep deep scar...

Heart feels the pain

I got think of wanna watch movie with u today.
But I dint say out, coz u said don't simply waste money.

When ur friend called you and u straight away confirm go movie with them. How I should feel?

I worry u watch the movie I wana watch with u.

Am I selfish?

Do u know, u can actually ask ur fren wat movie n time they buy and online check see whether I still can buy to watch togather d..

I hope to say this out. Bcos I hope to relax as well. But I don't dare. U said u hope to have ur own time, I don't hope u u happy when watch movie with me.

I really dono I shud say this idea or not.

All I wan is u happy .

Alone for world cup match.. Can't celebrate anniversary as well..

Tomorrow is final world cup.. I really hope to watch with u..

I really hope we can celebrate our anniversay togather.. Last year I miss it.. I really hope v can make it this year..

I really scare end up u still say break up..

Really scare.. But no use.. U choose to hv time..

Lastly..... We are over

I can't believe u will say take care and never ask me to stay..
Hahaha actually u already know.. U really dint care on me..
I feel very hurt.. Every Friday also I say go ur house.. U still wait n hoping u will ask mr this time.. I wait.. This time I very patient n wait u end work n ask me go u there.. Haha.. End up. u never say..

Promise me acc me go shop for my sport shoe.. End uptell me u Ned to stay late at office wait ur fren.. Then accompany ur fren. if fren Ned go cheras. That's y can find me also.... Hahaha

I really sad

shud i??

my senior ask me to go bangkok togather with him..

hs remind me that i purposely go do passport..

i tot i give u surprise ..go UK and find u..so i go do passport..

what a stupid me..

shud i go with my senior?

shud i let go our relationship?

i miss u

i saw my dear facebook, her bf wrote " love u " in her post..

i feel very jeolous..

i know is stupid to request bf to do that for me..

but..i just a gal.. which hope alot alot of caring and love.. the neverless love..

u never wrote thos..

somethime i really hope i got..

feel very stress and cant breath..

brother.. where are u?

i miss u

Feel excited yet..... Worry

Our anniversary coming soon.. Do u still remember?

Preparing anything to me??

Honestly, I hope u can off that day to accompany me.. Is childish right??
Just anniversary.. But I really care on it.. What a stupid me..

Tell u lo, yesterday I really hope to watch movie.. But u seem very tired..
Really hope u know that I really care for u, just I dint mention...

I know......

I know u treat me good also..
No money to spend also come and find me..
I know u every weekend will accompany me..

But

sorry.. Untill this moment I still can't forget u Lie to me..
Sorry.. I still can't forget u tell 3 other gal u miss them and try to flirt with them..
It's really like a tatto in my heart...

Is pain whenever something make me remember it..

Is pain when I really know I love u, and I keep fight inside to forgot...

Is pain

Another crying night

Why u don't understand?

U asked me for a drink togather, only we both to have a drink.. And lastly.. U said YE friend invite u to drink as well.. U asked me whether to join them.

Do u think is necessary to ask??

Not u said both if us only??

Understand?? I not don't want to join them.

The main point is when u date me is only two of us.. Is u said only us.. Don't one other ppl d.

I angry is y never remember what u promise me n end up say I too count on wat u promise..

For me, ur promise to do somthing for me.. I really care it.. Feel that is very important..

I purposely dint eat to save money n treat u makan..
I tot is our commitment to save more money now..

I jeolous sister bf will buy get little thing that suit her.. Jeolous ghat he will present her something which he think is suit for her.. Or looking at something n that thing make him remind if sister then he buy for her..
The main point is not the present.. Is the heart.. Heart that will hv her always.. Wat also make him remind of her..

May be u got I dono ...

I very sad.. Wana go out with fren u nt alow.. Bcos u don't like I go out with guy.. Bt really honestly.. All my gal fren also less contact ad. ning LI moved ad.. Who else I can jio??

U never think so.. I not like u.. I can't just be happy then forgot all those..

I really stress..

U promise will acc me.. But....

I want the brother who is always there.. Not the one always say " we chat next day" " I very tired now" "I dono eat to say"

U told me u beh tahan me ad..

Mayb is my fault.. Sorry

Sad to the MAX

I really hope sometime u will do something for me.. Really care on me..
U know why every week I ask u wana asked ur friend out for drink? Hope u hv time with them..

But why I don't hv time with my friend? U always not allow me to go???

My sister bf will buy her thing that she mention she like! Why I don't hv?
I not want LV OR GUCCI.. I sometime just want something which i think u present me wil be very lovely..

Am I too requested??

Sorry..

Sadness weekend

I really sad and stress last few week.. Is u said will off one day and accompany me.. End up.. U break ur promise.. I ask u next wekk.. U said I requesting something very guo fen..

Do I?

I thought this weekend u will spend more time with me.. Coz I goin home soon, end up u got work to do.. I understand.. I just hope to have more time with u..

Say go pub with me two peole.. Okay la.. Wait till gt salary ad.. End up.. Other gal jio u.. We go togather.. I really no comment.. Because u the one say go only we both.. Now askme how? Wana go with them or not???

Sometime I ask u to see whether wana join ur fren or nt is because I hope u got time spend with fren also... I really think for u.. Hope u got time spend with fren.. Why u like nt know wat I do for u??

I just sien sien d over my holiday.. I know more stress comin next week.. Just tot use this three day to relax.. Bt seem nothing.. U busy ur work only.. I know u gt work.. So tired untill keep sleep.. I just need ur care..

Yesterday I realy unhappy.. My colleague all ask me go drink with them.. Know u nt happy I also dint go.. Tot u really coming fetch me.. I really happy d.. End up.. I wait there for 2 hours.. Only u come.. N dint tell me that u will b late.. I really tot u comin when u first call me..
U know?? I really feel dissapointed.. I know u gt job.. Bt u un mah.. U can drink after work with ur fren.. I hope too!!!!
Just I really concern on u.. U say u come fetch me ad.. Then I don't go meet my colleague.. Now u late one hour plus only tell me u leave ur office.. Means???

I dint go drink is because wana meet u.. But end up.. Both also can't get.. Can I say is u Lie to make me stay??

Dissapointed

Haha.. Not close .. Even she know u got presentation..
I dono how to think.. Really stress n sad
I sick u dint ask .. I stress u just listen..
I wait too long, just want u run.. Bt u say I not think in ur situation..
Yea.. My problem

times up!!!!

end up.. i dint answered ur call..

haha..tears cant stop droping...

i am doing something stupid?

i just dont hope to get hurt again..

i receive ur mail..
"duno u will c this email onot?

duno y i realy ganjiong.. duno wat will hapen later? duno u will answer my call onot?

if u answer then how? can talk nicely? or argue again? wat ur respond to me? talk in nice way? or still in moody conversation?

alot question in my mind.. realy duno wat will hapen later.. hope to chat with u but duno wat can i say.

will i say something wrong again? can i control my voice? can i control my mind and talk nicely?

realy duno how.. left 20 minute only. how?

hope i can just hug u and forgot all the thing."


i really hope to hug u and forgot all those..

but end up..

u still dint do what i want..

i just told u yesterday..

ALL I WANT IS TO FIND ME WHENEVER WE ARGUE..

i do told u alot of time..i do...

at last u also dint...u dint really understand..

this is faith..

we do not really know how to communicate

45 minutes

left 45 minutes, he will call me..

i tell myself dont online and check..u already decided to let go..just do it..

at last. i still go on msn, disappointed once again..NO MESSAGE..

would it be email?

NOPE...

i try to on facebook and see he online or not..hope he is not online..so that i can hope that maybe he is going to my house to look for me right?

WRONG....

he is online.. and never try to chat with me..

hahahahahah..why i am so funny..i am the one who dont talk to people..why still hope people to find me?

maybe this is gal..

stupid gal thinking..

should i go drink now?

or i might need it later

First time

This is the first time I totally ignore u call.. I really do not know what should I do..
We know, in our heart we know how sanfu we are when we togather..

I really love u.. I really do not know why I love u so much.. So much untill u hurt me one n another.. Untill I forgive and trust u one time and one time..

I really dint change on my attitude?

I got..

Do u know everytime when I hope to do anything .. And u don't like and ask me stop from doing, did u really see on my facial expression? How sad I am? While for working, u said wanna protect mr don't allowe meet agent, do u know how sanfu I am? But I still follow what u say..

Just I easy get mad because u really control me alot.. No matter in outfit to thinking..

When I know u say those what bed and kiss all those with other gal.. I really hope when I asked u, u admit n say sorry and will never do so.. While is not admit when I show u evidence.. Is not telling me only kidding with her, and untill I found out other gals then tell me u FORGOT..

I think whole day, still stupidly hope u will come and find me today.. U know ur sister bday, just after can find me?
Hahahahah can u stop act like stupid? He won't do so.. Yesterday u already give clue to him say hope to see him.. He won't come..

He won't think that will come.. He will say today his sister bday and tomorrow need to work.. Can I don't be like this...

He sent me a MSG just now, he said " Still dunwan answer my call? Later i will call u at 12 sharp. Duno u wana answer ont? Bt if u din answer then i know wat u mean ad. Then i wont disturb u anymore. Hope u will answer. At least v cn hav a nice talk."

should I answer?

I know that he won't really understand what I want, he might understand, but is just a part... This means we shouldn't go on right? Shouldn't make both suffer right?

I really can't let go.. For me, he still like ephine.. He do really love her.. He said before, she is happy go lucky, he ofcoz prefer happy go lucky.. He do said before to his friend..

When she message u, I very worry, because everytime when she start message u, then things will happen again, we will argue for that and u will once fall in love with her again.. She is really your type, she is really so positive thinking..

I hate myself which not happy go lucky..

I really can't forgot what u did, is still feel pain when think of what u did, I can't forget the pain, can't stop thinking.

We can't be togather, because in future, if we marry, we argue back all this, no points right?

I can't let go, that's why I can't own ...

Everytime

Everytime after we argue, timing also not ngam ..
I am those who wan to discuss now.. While u can wait..
Is this call u not ganjiong me?
Hahaha

I hope to stop thinking

disappointed

i am really sad, do not know what should i do. we are clear that we have so many problems. what else we should do?

i request u to change, but u dint. u request me to change but i dont.

end up we are like pushing ourself to accept each other.

is this the way should go?

i thinking of doing something stupid just now, really really stupid,, i just cant handle stress.. yes i am useless.. i cant handle stress..

since i was young till now..i always feel unfair.. i am hopeless..

i go out.. i dont answer your call all those..

but when i reach home.. i still hoping u will be at downstair waiting for me.. like u do for her...

yes..i always compare me n her.. this is what u turn me to..

when i was young i compare myself to sister.. now i compare myself to other gal..

i am tired..

i not want to..is u make it..i really treat u good..is u make me cant trust in u..

why u wana push me to here..]]i am really scare...

i really dono what will i do

Really sad...

I really feel that I am idiot.. I feel so ashame of myself..

Why u treat me like this, like never treat me as human.. U dint appreaciate me. Dint zhun zhong me.

Why I still in love and treat u so good?

I looking at what u lie to me.. I really

Hmm hmmm what should I?

My agent keep fb with me, but just simply chat! Dint flirt don't simply talk. We really say works thing.
Not I selfish, but I am really a agak person, I where got flirt with guy say do u miss me? Really don't have.

While u, sorry, I not really trust in u because u lied before.

When people MSG me, you saw the MSG straight away turn your face. Okay understand that u not feeling well. I can tum you.

But how about yesterday? She SMS you again! What u do or say to me make me feel more better?

NOTHING!!!!

Okay is fine..

I really dono what else I can say anymore, that's why I keep quiet only!


Next two week I got to go training for two week. Ask u tonight how? Go u there stay or how?

Why I ask?

Tomorow u Ned to go ur relative there wedding party, I really dino I should go or not! Last time my fren wedding is I ask u go. I hope this u decide for me also. If tomorow dint stay u there, then tonight I will go. Coz really can't see u two weeks

Bur u tell me u might go office tomorow morning.. Honestly, I dono what for u go there.. Just simply chit chat?

I really nothing, just wonder if I say I Saturday might go meet colleague for discuss work thing n won't stay u there.. Dino u okay or not!

I am sure u say, if I am going for working purpose u are okay

but now the point is" I going to office, see what to do"

hahahaga

hai hai

i never expect that i will get " hai hai" as a conversation start from you.

this means?

our relationship is only a friendship?

hahaha... is u say dont want to change anything.. will give me time to consider.. want me report anything to you.. but end up.. u are the one who say so 1st..

hai hai...


wahahahahah

My feeling ........ Accurate?

" I goin home, go eat 1st"

this sentense means? U will go eat but dint tell me who u eat with. CORRECT?

Afternoon, when u eat with Irene, u also dint mention, I though u eat alone. When I know u having lunch with colleague, I am really okay, just u request me to report to u. Then why don't u do so?

I told u this, then u said sorry. When I asked u, if u don't one to report is okay, just let me know. But then u answer u dint think so.

But what u do is don't one report!

Am I idiot?

I just care on what our commitment!

If u feel hard to report, then so do I! We just stop reporting, that is fine!
But if u require me to report and u dint, then I feel unfair.

Hahaha, u sure said I always dint report right?

Yaya.. We keep argue for this stupid issue!

I can feel, really can feel. Today u not really treat me as a gf when u reply.

When I tell u how stress in my work, u said do not know what u should say. I already feel heartless!

Okay.. Too many complain..

AlL is my fault right, we having fun time togather, is I am the one who messy it up right? My fault right?

I really dono how to tell u the feeling when I told u I hope to stay u there, I am not well and hope u hug me tightly.
And end up u say " are u sure u wana stay here? U said u need to go home"
then I tell u once again my problem why I Ned to go home and I mention I really hope u accompany me.
U just ask me , then how?

I want u to give some idea with me, discuss togather what should we do, not ask me decide want to go home on my own!

How am I gonna express my feeling?

I don't hope that I try so hard to stay with u, and u like so simply ask me decide, is my decision, u can't make this kind decision for me!

And what make me surprise is, when I told y I am going negeri sembilan tomorrow, u dint call me ask me why, but just SMS.. And dint ask anymore about it.
My feeling is u sien of argue-ing so dint really hope to reply much?
Dint care for me anymore?
Or u will say " don't simply put my own feeling to u?"
u want to say is .... Wanna discuss with me when u back home.. And I misunderstand u. U really did care for me?

Tears drop slowly whole day!
I can't cry out, but it drops silently ....

take note!

i think these are those issue that we need to take note :

1. we have different thinking, different style of living, different attitude.

2. u lied more than 3 times, i dont really trust on you. i will always think that isit u got sweet chat with other gal as u do with your friend?

3. u always said u understand me, asked me why i dint turn back and think about how u feel too.

4. "i always feel that", this is a issue which is unfair for u.

5. always want me to decide, which i dont like, i like to solve together.

6. i think that i am the one who always want u accompany me, show how care to you. but u said u did say u want me to accompany you, show your care, but i dint notice.

7. i always go for expensive food. but which i think to enjoy all different food with u.

8. i think that i go meet agent is because i am working, u do not allow, i am really okay, just that dont say untill i hope to go meet agent is because i wana kau zai like that.. i got asked my self, if u say that wana go meet gals for working purpose, what will i think? i can answer u that, i will feel uncomfortable, because i can sure u will chat with them, and i know u, i know u are friendly and talkative people.. thats why i worry. sorry to say so.. but what u did last time, is really like TATOO in my heart.. i cant swap off..

9. u always tired and sleep when i got important thing i wana chat with u. if u wana sleep, i am really okay, but please, please dont when u, yourself! you ask me to discuss it now, and end up u sleep!!! i know you tired, i dint force u to accompany to listen those nonsense..but.. for me, i really hope someone that important to me know what is happening on me.. if u tired, i will let u rest. just dont ask me to say and then u fall asleep.

10. i am really " PO MAH" i know this.. because of this, i make a lot mistake, and bad decision. i very regret i dint go UK, and because of this, i always argue with u, know that u got chance to meet other gal, and chat with her.. until i find ou t all, and now my heart..... get hurt

lastly, u made it!!

U did it!!!

U did bring me to Malacca at last. Do u know how happy I am when i know that we are confirm going?

I do really enjoy in the trip, do u know, i keep thinking what should we do in the trip, where should we go. haha, I cant really sleep last few night untill i fall in sick a day before we go for the trip.

Honestly, i do not really like the apartment, because, i always think that we can enjoy our trip and sleep nicely at night, but this apartment, really can say is the bad environment i ever stay at.

why end up i still choose this apartment? i know i very "mahfan" but, i just dont hope u "pik cik" after this trip, i am human, not animal, i will think!!

i cant just simply want to stay nicer hotel then want u to pay extra for that. we dont have much money to spend on that. hope u understand.. i really hope that we can solve problem togather and not ask me to decide.. maybe u dint notice, u really did ask me to decide everything..

haha..no blame this time .. just wana thank you for make me feel secure when sleep at the apartment. i know that i make u cant sleep well..sincerely apologise..

i really appreciate that u really bring me to go for the trip!

maybe is because i keep on mention every week. but do u know, i really hope to go trip with u, very hope to.

u wont know my strong feeling for that, or maybe u dont think is so serious..

thanks alot for the trip!

u did keep your promise..

and..nothings else u owe me lo..

thanks..i really do appreciate..

Shame

I should feel a shame!!!!

I thought after argue, don't so childish, promise u already that go your house this thurs then I go pack cloth to meet u at pj.
Really dono why I purposely go PJ at 4 pm meh?
I just don't hope to wait too long and disturb u work.

Why I pack cloth to there but still said I dint go your house?
I am just a gal, which sometime, hard to open mouth!
I dino u should just say " I go to your house today even we argue GAO GAO yesterday!"
or " can I go your house?"

I really dono, I got stress in work, hope to tell you, but u always busy.
I dint blame, just thought this holiday I can slowly talk to u, don't hope I argue with u and enjoy the moment.

But at last,

Trip which had been promise since last 1 and half year

Thought we are going to Malacca this weekend.

I really feel happy even we go in a big gang instead of only two of us.

Cant imagine that they had cancle this plan.

I really hope to go relax. I really feel stress.

and You promise me will go a trip with me since last year..

We cant even go Genting!!!!


I know that we dont have money right now.

JUst.......

i really hope we can do it.

as what you had promise........................

Should i tell u that i really hope to go??

anything!!!!

I really feel stress. No matter in work, family, relationship, health, money.
I know every one got stress but will try to solve it rather than talk it.

But I feels pain, very pain at my neck..

It makes me hard to breathe, hard to talk.

It's SUFFER!!

I told u that I hope to go for vacation since last year, u said wait few week, then got thing to do. POSTPONE again , okay, now getting more serious already.

I feel the pain for a week plus. It never stop.

Release and relax?

Sorry I can't, I do try to relax but really still pain.

Can't believe when I tell u, I hope to go next week u said wait for 3 more week.

Not every thing can wait..

Still don't understand?

I hope to go movie with fren, can't again !!!!

Okay lo, I don't go.

I will continue keep all inside!

Can't believe!!

I really can't believe u do it again. Flirt with another gal, my heart break into million of pieces.

How can I still believe in you?

How can u treat me like this. That day I already feel weird when u reply slow..

I realy can feel it, not bluff one, is just like I can sence something wrong.

It's true, now I know. I can't believe the gal can be say those things like this.

" I miss u"
"when we Gona kiss again"
" then if I drunk the I might follow u back home"
" we can do something at ur room, maybe bed"
" is ur gf go ur house again ?"
" u bath and open webcam "

kidding? All this is kidding right? I should not care or angry if my boyfriend and other pol say those right?
They just kidding right?
I can't mind and forget about it right?

U ask for a forgive. I answer okay..
Do u know how hurt my heart feels?

How to release?
I keep smile infront of u.. Can't u feel is fake?

situpiak

we end our conversation at 1.19 am, u reply me at 2.29am..u said u so tired.. why take 1 hour only sleep?

i cant stop imagine u chat with her..lol

canot blame me d wor.. everytime we argue.. u also will find her n chat.. got evidence geh...

somore..yesterday.. when we chating..u reply so late.. i think is lor..

i really still "qi wang"..

till now i still hope u will not give up and woo me back..

not say what..is just.. i really hope to see ur effort.. your heart that really want togather with me..

till now i still stupid hope to get ur msg

why i am so "sha"

Dont judge when u are not ME!!!!

Will this problem stay away from me if ...

if i really dont care?
if i talk to grace?
if i let go?
if i go far far away from here?

everyone tell me i should forget the pass
everyone tell me this is what i choose
everyone tell me try to adapt it
everyone tell me i too care about what people say

no one will understand why i am so sad.
no one will understand why i cant let go all this problem
no one really feel the way i feel

who can i talk to?
who can really stand on my side and listen awhile to me..really really stand at my point of view?
who can give me idea what to do instead of just simply tell me DONT CARE?
who can know how i am really feel?

i know i am annoying that keep remember those..
i know i am annoying when tell u all how i feel and it already a long time ago story.
i know i am annoying to bugging at the same issue

BUT

do u know the feeling when

until now, someone still told me, they heard that i am 3rd party in this relationship.
until now she still find him.
until now i still heard some1 said my bf woo another gal
until now i heard people said my bf slept with another gal before

do you know the feeling when :

i still need to be friendly to the gal who talk bad about me?
i still need to ask my boyfriend to look for the gal when she trying find him at the midnight?
i still need to control my tears from drop out when i am really sad on what he did?


yes! i am bad
yes! i am not a good galfriend
yes! i am a super duper sensitive gf
yes! i think too much
yes! i cant see how well u treat me..cause i only see the bad and hurt u gave to me


i really did my best.. but i really feel sanfu..
how much i love u also no use.. sometime i really dont feel that u love me..

like ur birthday, i do plan alot of surprise for u.
i really cant believe u say those words to me..
until u get the surprise only u smile to me and say thank you..

but ..

what u said before, had already hurt me.. hurt me deeply..
do u know i cry whole night for that?

i love u, but i know, u not really love me..

get back to her bah..she is the right one for u..

truth???? trust????

Truth and Trust.
I gave my trust to the truth u told me.
I thought it was a truth, that is why i trust.

but when the moment i trust you, u started to keep away the truth..

someone told me, the truth is a gal slept in your room in europe.
someone told me, the truth is you woo a gal when in europe trip.


since last time, u told me the truth is u hate her. got argument with her.

is this the truth?
is this what i should trust?

i choose not to ask, is because i do not have the courage to ask so.

i get hurt deeply..

deep deep into my heart.

i feel frustrated

feel so stress..
feel very tired..
i always sick..really feel hard..

hope to go just a short relax trip with u..but u say next month
tot we are going to PD with all ur friends.. because ur friends jio u only u will go..
end up u say cant go..
i feel stress ..wana go relax..watch movie..canot
i wana go club..canot

what also canot..i really dono how to release my stress..u wont know how stress i am..

u keep on always ask me thing..always ask me who i go with..where am i now.. what i wana do next..who fetch me go..fetch me back..order me must do now..cant go here..cant do that..

i really feel stress ad..headache...pain...
do u care on this? just ask me dont this dont that..

i earlier back home..tot wana give u surprise..bt u just ask me where am i..why saw me on fb..tell u honestly where am i..all those..

somemore angry i play u..i just wana gv u surprise and back home earlier accompany u..but u wont know and understand..even how stress i am..i hope to watch movie i also back home acc u..

i sick..i tell u how sanfu i am.u just tell me ntg d la..doesnt really comfort me..

i tell u how stress i am..just say u cant do any decision for me..i dont want u say decision for me..but u never understand...

always say i feell i think...

i very scare to think ad..i very scare to say out my feeling..always say i feel too much.,what i think n do also wrong..

i just want a place to take a breath..

feel like wana die..

Feelingss

Feel Sad that we argue.
Feel Mad that we dont understand each other.
Feel Sorry that we cant tolerate each other.
Feel Hate that we keep stand at our own position.

Hope both of us will try to change for each other.

i really need u, in this meant time. I dont hope to be alone again like last time.
u do not know the feeling, the feeling of being helpless and loneliness.

sorry !!!
but i do not know u need me too.

i hope u will tell me all your things as i do tell you all my things.
but u said u will forgot those unhappy and dont hope to tell me.

everytime we argue, i also feel that why i am really such a bastard?
why i only did wrong thing and make people around me sad?

i really do hope.. u get back to her..have ur own happy life..

got a strong feelings lately,

if we dint know each other, u will still be the happiest brother which i have ever know.

ENOUGH!!!!!!!

break up with ex with the reason "you smoke, and club too much, dint care for me"

END UP.. ex become people's bf..and YOU STARTED:

tell the whole world that other people took away your bf.
wrong that the gal always dating your ex.
wrong that gal that watch movie with ur ex.
wrong the gal that lies all around.
wrong the gal and the guy that hurt her so much.

meet people's bf to gave him some present which full of u both memory.
asked people's bf why treat her so bad.

call people's bf out for christmas's day.
asked people's bf out for a movie, plus drinking till late night.
sms people's bf said miss him.
sms people's bf with the opening "dear and babe".
sms people's bf and ask people's bf to break up with the gf.
sms people's bf to give u a morning call everyday.
sms people's bf and said miss people's bf voice when wake up in the morning.

sms people's bf said that u both cant be togather when u successfully dating with him, meet him..and get him back, and then sms people's bf again to question him why he wana back to his gf instead of her and said how sad she is.

call people's bf out at valentine day.
call people's bf out many time, request only 2 people out.

purposely call people's bf to fetch her when she got someone to fetch.
the second day wana do it again. when people's bf cant fetch her, she said she sad.
purposely call people's bf to fetch her go gathering, but funny is actually she already nearby the place, and she purposely back home to request people's bf fetch.

call people's bf before people's bf go oversea, people's bf forgot call her, then she mad and cry.

keep msn people's bf and chat till late night.
keep request people's bf to change the profile pictures because is a couple pictures and is not her, said is very annoying when saw it.
asked people's bf how he feels if she got people who admire her.


sms people's bf and said "dear, why u dint call me, 2day is my bday" then keep on call untill people's bf answered.

keep on call people's bf.. reason ..to chat about something.
keep on call and message people's bf is to ask for a dinner.

go to people's bf house at the late night
asked people's bf to explain to her, why he is with his gf.

said u can now wish people's bf can be hapily ever after...
and now onwards u can START look for your own hapiness and love..

is this means u ADMIT WHAT U DONE LAST TIME IS TO BREAK PEOPLE'S RELATIONSHIP???

we not mean to be

my hapiness really just tll that day?
isit end of my happy moment with u?
is the time i really should let go u?

i really hate her..
i hate her acting so much..
delete ur facebook and all those, then now call u..

u dint answer then keep call .. and just asking for a diner, when he say canot make it, then u still request to meet other day..

how should i think?
is normal? i shouldnt care at all?

yea.. i really shouldnt care. but what he do.. make me stund..

he just said he wont answer, next calling ..he asked me.. "accept or nt?"

reallywonder, if u already said u wont answer, then? what is the point u ask me?

after i allow, then u straight away stand up and walk away to answer the call..when i ask u, why there is a nessecity to walk away..

u answered" just normal"

honestly..when u react like this..i really feel hurt..hurt is because i really think u dint care for me..care for ur gf which u always say love me the most, and wont hurt me..

i really try to act like nothing goes wrong, why u keep ask me how i feel?

ask me to tell u the truth..

i told..

end up? u scared me..u make me feels like..we really cant be togather..

i lookin at u, u keep asked me to answer u..bt i really cant speak out a words..nt a word...

i feels empty

2day when i meet u.. i really thank you that u fetch me.. but when u hold my hand.. i really feel scare...

can we just be friend?

my brother?

I am very Happy!!!

i am really happy for the past few day, happy that we cook togather, spend all time togather and we do have fun going out. really happy, i really hope this happy can be forever..

even we got small argueing. but for me, is good, atleast u really try to understand me, try to listen to me..

do u know, i really happy when u wish me happy chinese valentine yesterday, is so sweet that u wish me 1st..normally also i wish u 1st..and 14th of feb that day we already argue..that was really hurt ...that was really a bad memory of mine..

haha..dono lar...i just know i am very happy o...miss u now

Dissapointed

Genting, we plan to go since last year, only both of us, but end up, u break promise.
I still remember, u even yield at me said that "we still have so many time which we can go togather, what is the point i angry"..

This time, u go trip with ur friends, when u said u wont bring me go along, do u know how hurt am i? not hurt that u wont bring me along, is hurt that when u say out. for u, u will think is just a small matter, for me, in my situation is not. i really understand the situation u cant bring me along, but when is say out from ur mouth, how hurt it was?

u want me be happy, so u promise u will bring me go genting 2day, yesterday i ad mention, how if u late back kl or cant go genting today? i already mention i will angry. u said u wont break promise this time.

end up?????

u need to go dinner with ur family. I really know is not ur fault. do u understand me?

i boh form is because, last few time when u promise wana go genting, end up, u also got thing to do, say night only go. do u think what is the point go there?

everytime u date me to shopping, vacation, one day trip, end up u also break it.

not wana blame u, is just, i also just a normal human, i really got feeling d, so hard meh just wana have a one full day trip? when u got something to do, wana cancle or postpone the trip, i really wrong when i moody about it meh?

that day when we argue, u surprise why i so calm and never wana say anything anymore.

seriously, i plan to say break up, i really beh tahan, i feel so sumthing, when u say i play with kaka, u very sad also "yan" because u love me.

u, u flirt with people, u in love with other people, u really got play with meimun so close untill my mom also saw and ask me.

who yan more??

u sing k i really saw u looking at weny more, u whole cny also got find her, even is a geng of friends, but do u think about my feeling? then who yan more??

i really think we cant be togather for long, this few day i really got think about us.

as u see, i really care on ur promise, while u, always think there is always a chance, so promise can be postpone.

vyen, in valentine day, u really got find me, why i dulan..u really understand??
a week before valentine, u so good and said that u wana fidn me earlier on that day because u wana celebrate with me this year.. end up, u plan to go sleep and after diner only find me.. what is the point? u have ur diner only find me ..so means u wont hv diner with me. i ad said before..if u not fee never mind, bt i wan pre-celebrate or postpone celebrate lo.. but is u the one who say wana celebrate that day, so when u promise ad..please hold ur promise and do it.. no excuse d..

because u always have reason..i always wana accept the reason...do u ever realy think about me? my feeling?

when i say i feel, u angry.. how sad n scare when i see ur facial expression..u know?i hate argue..i scare about it..i dont wana get hurt anymore..

a valentine present..u say u will gv.. right.. bt u postpone to give again mah..

vyen..the valentine is a fix day, it wont change, why cant u prepare earlier? got so many day, one day prepare a while cant?

why always wana postpone?dont always think that ur sorry always means everything ok..

i got feeling.. i will beh tahan d..

now..

i really got thing to tell u..

i already beh tahan

i want to break up

i know i will be very sad..i cant live better when i am without u, i know all this

but i also know, we cant be togather..

our attitude, our thinking..

when this whole cny, we argue everyday

i already know..

we are not meant to be togather..

i am not apart of yours

i really love u, really love more than myself..more than i can give.

but i really feels hurts.. feels sad

how good if we never have a relationship..and u are always my brother.

She vs Me

i keep on thinking......

if is her, she wont lao gai want u to accompany her in CNY + valentine day, she will be very understanding, and u can just sms wholeday with her, and u both will be sweet sweet.

if is her, she wont argue with u when u hang out more with ur friends, because she have her own friends as well.

if is her, she will remember to report as u want

if is her, she wont so mind on what u present her and she will work out hard to do something special for u in valentine.

if is her, u sure will have a wonderfull and memorable valentine's day

valentine

I always hope we can celebrate our very first happy valentine. Honestly, i feel uncomfortable when this Chinese New Year and Valentine coming around, maybe u will say i think too much or too sensitive. But what happened last year, i still got a clear picture in my mind. i cant forget about it.

i just want a simple celebrating, i know u wont present me flower, i know i wont have any big gift, i also know, i might not have a present or even a card as well. but i just hope, u will be here celebrating with me.

2daay is also 1st day of CNy, so i know u will celebrating with ur family, thats y i dint require u to come earlier to accompany me. But u mention last week u will try ur best to come earlier to find me, u said if posible, u will come at noon after ur "bai nian". But 2day, when u bai nian, u ask me should u come find me 2day or next tues, honestly, i do not know hpw should i reply. then u said u will find me after ur dinner.

2day is valentine, u promise u will accompany me this year.. yea, u think of find me, but is only 2 hour, do u understand the feel? u never mention u wana have a pre valentine celebration as well.. and now, u even said u will present me the gift on tues.. vyen, do u understand? i not really care about what is the gift, is just, why u cant make it on time? why always wana postpone? celebration postpone, gifts postpone 1 year..

and i really feel that 2day, u find me, u see me awhile, u think is enough, u done ur job, u really enjoy with ur friends. i just wana say, u can meet them everyday, in this one week we off day..honestly, is hard for us to have this kind of time to spend togather..i dont mind to spend with u n ur friends, but do u think of join me into ur plan?

u say u did.. then can i ask u, u say u yesterday go find ur fren, why dont u think of find me? is pre valentine wor.. if kiwi dint asked u join us to watch movie.. will u ask me out? u say u think before.. but u never say out..u never ask me..

u just tell me u got plan to go out with ur geng at friday night.. u got plan to go ns gathering at saturday night..u will find ur friends everyday because is law that u all new year sure everyday got plan..

did u mention about me? did u mention when u will come my house bai nian? when i ask u 1st..sure u wil tulan and said u did think of wana come my house bainian, just do not know when la..then why cant u just discuss with me? rather than ntg to ask..i also dono what u are thinking...

CNY got 1 week leave..did u mention u will have any program with me?

u say CNY is a law that u all always go people house and play around, everytime is liek this.. then why dont u think is suppost to find me also?i am ur gf.. why dont u think of wan me join u? or u join me?

u got ur friends to enjoy with..i dont hvae.. so i very depends on u..i hate my self like this..

i also hope to have my own friends, which i can hang out with.. but i dont have.. like ah heng and laing them, they all are guys, so i canot hang out.. i hang out with kiwi them, u said why i never asked u join along..

not i dint ask, is u joing them also not as happy as u join ur klang friends. do u thik before, u dint join kiwi them, then mostly i cant join, then what else i can do? mostly when i ask u to join along , u said u not really want.. this i know, u say money problem.. but then how? u get what i means mah?

we and kiwi them plan to go sing k so many time, u also say dont 1 no money, but when u geng ask u, u will think on yes, wana join..i really happy when saw u so enjoy with ur friends..

i dint say u canot join ur fren. just an example. i wana tell is, u enjoy more with ur friends.

i also hope too.. but i cant..as i mention just now.. and tning them got their own program.. what should i do?
i just hope i also can have some own time without kacau u..i dont 1 like waiting u to choi me..i dont hope i am a burden for u..

i want to share with u, today we when to yamcha with my dear then u said u are tired, thats why dint chat much. but do u know my feeling? u always so happy to be with ur klang friend, and when u with our geng, u will feel sien, do u know how i feel?

i can join ur friends..i am happy to join.. but 1 thing.. like 2 day, i ask u..wana sing k qith us..u never asnwer..if u dont like..no money or what..also give a answer la..dont keep quiet nia..

i really feel samthong..i sick and pain jo so many day..u just ask me how am i ad.. when i said i wana go out to enjoy..u will ask me with who or bla bla bla..

i do not know hwat is right or wrong..i dono my feeling
i very scare to feel..i very scare to talk

complicated

Today is a day which i wait for so long, i really hope to celebrate valentine with u. last year it was a sad chinese new year + sad valentine. i really hope this year will b better. i really dont hope we argue today.

early in the morning, i wake up and go shop with sis, i really not feeling well, very sanfu, the pain make me wana vomit as well, i call u, i really hope atleast i can get some care from u, when u asked me to go see doc, i really think of yes, i will try to go. but then i really feel very pain, pain till i cant stand well, that is why i wana off phone, why everytime i trying to off phone, u sure think i emo and wana off phone, i hope to tell u, i dint, i just want to be calm down, i learn to calm down d.. i dont hope to argue with u, thats why i always wana close phone to calm, i dont hope to argue..

i really pain for whole day, really not well, untill i blur blur keep hit by people when walking. i really do not know how to tell u. i really worry on my stomach.. lao gong.. is really pain..

i feel sad whole day when u asked me why i never report to u.. i really dono..i really blur.. hp keep hang..cant receive msg..i really..sorry...

i know i am wrong..thats y i dono how to keep continue to chat with u..i just know say sorry.. really..not dont 1 tum u.. really..

when 12 reach..we chating on phone, i never think of we will argue.. i feel very uncomfortable..

when u said " 1 time never call u laopo.. dint do one or 2 time, isit so serious?"

this is the words that i really scare to hear.. honestly..sorry.. this word u really said before..last year new year also.. i very scare... i am so sorry that i am so damn sensitive.. i tell u is hope that .. U will tell me what i think is wrong.. i just want to get some "an wei" ...sorry..really sorry

why i feel like this..is because.. when u good good with me..if i ask u ..why u never call me laopo 2day..u will say where got..

this time also..u will say where got..n ask me dont think too much..

but lao gong..u really did not call me laopo in 2day msg..very very less..

normally..1 day..in every msg u always willl call me laopo.. laopo doing what.. laopo at where..miss laopo...bt now is "wei doing what?"

i swear i dint simply think..dint simply feel..i really dint..

when u tell me why i never understand.. why i am so sensitive, why i like this and that..

i really sorry..when i hear it really sad..

2day i go buy valentine present for u..i feel very pain.. walk also pain..bt i still go here and there search for u..bt i canot tell u..so that is why cant msg u much..this mayb is a reason..but.. i feel so "wei qu"

something I should say..

Everynight, when we were chatting, there is for sure, u will fall asleep.
Everynight, i also tell myself u really tired, next day i shouldnt border u oo much, should let u have a good rest.

But normally u will chat with me before we sleep is because this is the only time that we can share everything.

Today u said u have earned a comm, i really happy for u, wana say congrats, but i dont have enough time, when night time, u asked for a webcam, i on mylappy and wait about half hour, i knew. u slept again.

At 1st i really wana call u and make sure u off ur lappy and have a good night sleep, i know how tired are u. but i regret i did make this call. i asked u, what u were doing after my called. u answered " er..er..er....me? just now? why?"

do u know, i just want a answer from u, straight away answer, u can answer me u sleep.

but u answer me u r dreaming around..hahahaha..what a funny answer..then i ask u, why cant u just tell me u slept?

honestly, u really answer me in a rude way, u sad what is the diff between sleep and dreaming? why need to care so much, u did answer my question.

this answer did hurt my feeling,then i know u are tired, so i ask u to sleep, really ask u to go and sleep. and u ask me what is the problem now. izit u should answer me
"I AM SLEEPING JUST NOW" then only i happy.....this answer make me wana cry on the spot.

for u, i am really a person like this? wan u answer what my heart thinking..if nt match i should mad on u..izit liek this?


this few day, what hapen on u, what hapen on me.. r u really clear?

what my job interview? everytime i call u to report to u..end up u say u r busy need to meet client already..then i stop reporting..when there is something u dono, then u say me dint report to u..

can i ask, what is the best time for me to report? at day time u busy, night time u tired. i really tot wana chat awhile, what i think like this also wrong?

i really care for u, scare u nt enof sleep..

what i do also wrong

tell me what else i should say??

look at ur face..always look so tired..what else i wana chat with u at this tiring day??

and i hate u wrong me.. i wana discuss with u 2moro i should stay u there or nt..

u never discuss with me about this.. u just ask me to wait u keep ur thign and call me discuss..end up? u sleep ad..u never discuss with me..n i already decide i dont 1 to go u there..now u mad at me..u said u ad discuss..why i still decide nt to go..u tot i mad at u then dont 1 go,..

actually is i try so hard to discuss with u..n till now i also get respond..i ned to keep cloth also d..i canot liek this..say wana go then go.. u know d..thats y i wana discuss earier..why u say me like that???


what else i should chat with u?

there is no topic between us anymore...

SLeep

everytime when u said wana chat with me seriously, and normally i will say u wont do so, because u sure got thing will do or fall a sleep.

u deny it....so?? end up??

when u chating with me just now, do u know how many time u fall asleep?

honestly, i really know u are tired, thats y i ask u to sleep, but then u said u are ok, wana discuss with me.

but did u really think on my side? i try to talk to u, i repeat so many time, and u fall alsleep ad. and what u answer me was other thing.

for example 1, u ask me how, the customer care, u think is not suitable, i ask why, then u quiet ad, then talk alone, and i ask u why, u say nothing, u talk yourself only.

u ad talk with yourself more than 4 times, CAN U TELL ME HOW SHOULD I SAY ANYTHING ELSE??

if u are me.. what u will want to say??

i really know u fall asleep already, i ask u sleep, u ask me back why i like halk in the way " bu nai fan"?

please, how can i be patient? i really be patient n talk with u, listen what u try to telling me..

END UP, U TELL ME SS2..

honestly, i really shock when u tell me ss2..dono how to tell u..

i think we should really break up bah..

just now i get a email from fb, is ephine comment on andrew wall post.. because i comment before, so thats why i can see who else comment.. when i saw ephine, this name, i really feel not comfortable. next.. she ask andrew isit work at ss2.

end so "ngam" u say ss2.. i really do not know how should i think..

honestly. i getting more hate her..
why so funny, last time u said she dont like ur friend, because they always ask u out.. now why she comment?

i really dont think i can think in a clear mind already..always link to her..i want to get out from this kind of life.. even i really think she did something..u also protect her and say why i like to think so much..

so..i think so muc hla..i now wana stop thinking ad..

Last Dating for us

I really cant believe i told u. the inner of how i feel.
I really do know that I am annoying, I am nasty, I am not good enough.

I tried hard to forgot everything in the pass, but do u know, is very hard.
What I said that day is truely from my heart, I wana short break to clear up my mind, I really dont hope i still remember the thing.

do u know, when they call you, i will really remember that she keep find u. honestly , u want me to stop think about it, s really hard, really.. this is because, u and me also know, how much time she say u both just be friend? dont be like flirting anymore.. end up? what again?

really sorry, i know that is unfair to u. .bt i really cant forgot what u had done.. really canot..

why i dont 1 to see u.. is because when u apologise, or u come n find me ..i sure 100 % i will forgive u and good good with u..

dont u feel my changes?

like yesterday, u come n fetch me at midvalley. the day before, we say we wana have a break, end up, when i see u, u hold my hand.. then i really think of wana be with u.. dont u feel so?

dont u feel that how much i love u? i can forgive what u done even is damn hurt.. why dont u understand?


i really dono what i should do.. really dono.. i just feel scare whenever there is somethign hapen of i just saw her name..

yesterday u ask me why dint put our pic as my hp profile pic, i wana ask..then how about u? why u never put on fb? msn? hp?

do u know, when we said about this..it make me remember that she said "ur picture so annoying, change it now, i dont like it".. and more hurt is u really change..

sorry..i really canot forgot all this.. sorry.. it just keep reply on my mind..i really feel sanfu..

i really hope..this saturday..i will try my best to happy with u without argue.. as a last great memory of us..

SAD

I really dono what should I think now.
In this moment, i just feel like want to cry.
Is been a few week, i really dint talk to u regarding my things.
I wana go Uk, hope to chat with u, evrytime, u also say later, at night chat, when we start to chat about that, then u just ask me to think, and then nothing else.

everytime when i talk to you regarding all this, u will say u got gv me comment and suggestion already. but DO U REALLY STAND ON MY POSITION N SAY THOSE? REALLY THINK AND SAY?

i got jobs already, really do not know how, i ask you for your time to chat with me, u said wait u home, end up? u fall asleep again..

i feel very sad especially when u said "sometimes, ur thing ur emo thing, i really dono how to handle, why i ned to face ur emo, i just hope u can be happy with me."

i do not know how u means this.. but for me..it shows that u r NOT RESPONSIBLE.. how can u say like that? i am your galfriend.. why i wana chat all this with u? because i ned ur coment.. i wan listen to ur suggestion and idea..i do not wan to mak decision all by my own and do what i like.. bcoz now i got u..i am not alone..i canot do what i like ..just like i am single..why dont u understand?

u said u wana go gym.. ok .. is fine.. ur gym at 8 pm.. then? now is only 5 somehting..dont u feel like wana find me have a short chat?..U DINT COME TO FIND ME.. CAN U ATLEAST PLEASE REALLY CHAT WITH ME IN PHONE? but u chat with ur fren when he cal u..yea is really ok..what i feel angry is..after u chat with him.. why dont u call me back..nvm.. u cal me n ask me why i dint call u back.. u question on me..

hello..now is u..u dint call me..how i know isit u busying talking? n when the time u call me..i am in phone.. i just close phone n u called me.. how i wana tell u..u just keep say yea u r wrong..but i am wrong too.. hahah...

see....

AGAIN.. I HOPE U TO COME..AND U GOT THINGS TO DO..always like this..

or u wana say..u got THINK OF WANA FIND ME? u got THINK ABOUT IT RIGHT?

i wana tell u..i not wana evertme got thing also want u MUST COME N fine me..not like this.. is just.. u never really BE THE FIRST who find me.. i means..when got thing hapen.. everytime also i say" can u find me" or " why dont u find me" end up..u find me..

why canot u take the initiative..to find me when i am sad? why?

OR U WANA SAY..I ALWAYS EMO.. HOW MANY TIME U CAN FIND ME RIGHT????????


i always hope u will do so.. this is diff u know..

u always say u got THINK.. bt i NEVER FEEL the thing u think to DO...

my thing i should handle myslef..i shud do decision myself right?

honestly..

I DONT THINK I WANT A BOYFRIEND IS LIKE THIS.. I WANT A BOY FRIEND WHO REALLY CARE ON ME..NOT WANT ME TO JUST REPORT..IS REALLY TAKE PART IN ALL THINGS IN MY LIFE..NOT ALWAYS I WAN TO BE LIKE THIS..HE FOLLOW..

I HOPE HE ALSO TAKE HIS 1ST STEP TO TRY DO SOMETHING WHICH MAKE ME FEEL IT..

NOT THE BF THAT I REQUEST HIM TO PRESENT ME IN SOME SPECIAL DAYS..

NOT A BF WHO WANT ME REMIND HIM HE SHOULD GV ME SOME SURPRISE..

Choose This or That?

really headache on what job should i choose. At first thought wana move out, so that i no need to travel so much to work. End up, there is no office job which suitable for me.

there is few option,
1. fully sales job, will provide car, but what the job scope i not really like.

2. web sales job, at sunway, i like this very much, but need own transport, if i posses own transport, the office at sunway, how am i gona travel so far? i got think of wana buy a car, but travel from home to office also expensive..

3. office job, vyen's friend introduce, at submit usj, if stay there, also will it be convenience for me to work or nt.

4. customer service job, ntg can learn, but high salary, rm 2500, at the curve, can stay there, easy reach office as wel..

how should i choose?

really hope to have someone who really can sit down n talk to, can give me opinion, not asking me wht i like then go for it lo. i hope someone can listen, n really stand on my position to think and suggest me..

not when i say, if i move out, i pay rental also same as car, but car own myself..then he/she wil say.then buy car beter, since car will own by yours..

then when i answer, but car need pertol and insurance those, more expensive, then he/she will turn to the other answer and say..ya also.. the should stay out 1st..work only get car..

do u know how this feel? is like.. not really can give me suggestion..haiz

道歉

few question.

1. do i really love u?
2. can i forgive u?
3. what i really want?

I really appreciate u really care on me compare to last time, now, when i wana go for interview, u will purposely come and fetch me, this is because u worry about me when i go out take public transport. this make me warm, feel secure.

when comes to arguement, i really haveno idea how it should go. Simple, like yesterday, i am emo-ing because of how mom treat me. i told u all those then i keep quite, dint mad at u as well. this is because i am mature, i not like last time, when family give me stress.i will show it out to u.

i really tot i try my best already, but then i still will hope u will accompany more as u can, this is because i already been long time never show my sadness to u. but u dint say wana come and find me or what. i really know that u are working at that moment, all i want it, ATLEAST u got THINK of wana find me even though u CANT, BUT let me KNOW ABOUT this.

I am not God, i dono how u think, when u dint mention out, i wont know do u think before or not. THAT IS WHY i ask u "why everytime, when i really emo and sad, i hope u will be there, but u never think of wana find me"

why i ask this?? this is because, there been few time, i emo, and u dint mention u WOULD LIKE TO FIND me, u just ask me dont emo, and then tell me u are going to where n where n where later.. there has been few time the situation also same like this..
**i not means u never think of wana find me, but u dint say out, and REALLY EVERYTIME I EMO, U WILL BE SOMETHING THAT U NEED TO DO OR GO**

this is why i ask the question, then u said, "this depends on time n situation".. YES.. I KNOW..

posible reason / situation:
1. because if u working
2. petrol expensive, plus tol also.
3. u got things to do.

i really understand, if u answer me this few, i will understand. because I JUST WANT TO KNOW. yea i admit i hope u find me, but not when u are working, really not like this. i just think of " why you never think of wana find me after ur work? i know i got gathering, but then is at 10.30 pm, why u never think of find me awhile..really awhile to gv me support?"

BEFORE I RECEIVE UR MSG ABOUT UR BOSS ASK U FOR DINER TOGATHER I REALLY THINK AS JUST NOW WHAT I MENTION...but after i receive, i know is imposible u find me. so i just ASK.. REALLY JUST ASKIN.....

i am trying to tell u, i am asking.. but seem. my question make u mad...i really hope to cool down..so i close the phone..i am sorry.. but i really dont hope to argue with u.. i scare to argue..

NEXT

yesterday when we togather, ur friend call u and mention she is sad, dono what she should do. i just tell u my opinion, really, when a relationship first started, if the partner ex is coming back, as we, we should let go, let them be togather..

why i say so.. i also hope she can have her own sweet love. but i must remind.. how if the ex gf of the boy always did something wan him back.. can she really doesnt mind? can handle well?

the decision is on her.. but..this is what i will remind..

i really dint plan to argue with u when i said this.. but when i hear u say the ppl's ex gf is nasty, because she did alot of thing to get the guy back.. then i really just wana ask u..

WHY WHEN UR EX TRYING TO DO SO MANY THING to want u back.. then u still HAVEN UNDERSTAND MY FEELING?

all i want to say is.. WHAT SHE DID..REALLY HURTING ME.. even i believe in u la.. u only in love with me.. but there is really HAPPENED before that hurt still inside...

even she just sent a msg to u..will make me worry.. not means dont trust in u or what,,is really normal that i will scare..scare on being hurt again..u understand mah??

then i really feel that, when i talk about ur ex.. some LITTLE SMALL THING.. u will be MAD. like last time, i say i dont like what she did, why she wana do so..U FACE ALSO BLACK AD.. if u really doesnt care for her.. why u wana black face??

simple, when u said my fren yee how, u said how much u hate him, he is ci bai kia...do i black face to show u? bcoz i dont care on that person..what ever u say him..i wont angry..understand?????

I FEEL HURT.. when i ask u this ques in car.. u answer me " I JUST WAN TO BE GOOD GOOD WITH U.. THIS IS THE ANSWER.. " hmmm...why u always avoid my ques???

i am asking.. " DO U FEEL UR SELF STILL CARE ON HER, BECAUSE WHEN I SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT HER.. U WILL PROECT HER"

do u know..

after u answer me.. i stop chating with u.. i think u also saw my tears..

do u know why i keep quiet then can laugh n chat with u the next second??

i think... my heart really die this time..

AND

when at the midnigh, we yamcha with meimun, and the way u and her chat and comment on what i did, sudenly i have a strong feeling..

I CANOT JOIN INTO UR WORLD. WE ARE SO MUCH DIFFERENT. i realise, sometime, my thinking is totally different from u..u r trying to adapt to my life..and i am trying to adapt to ur life..right?

but 1 thing really funny..i really think sometimes, i am wrong.. like when siew ling call me..i will entertain herand dont choi u sin..i am really sorry..i really stand on my point of view which is ..she lessly call me..she just want to share her happiness with me.. while i dint realise i hurt ur feeling.. i am really sorry.. i know is my fault..but then..i like never gona change..i am not GOOD IN REJECT people..so i keep on trying to do what i think is right..instead IT MAYBE COULD BE WRONG.. i am so sorry

i really change, change to handle my thing myself..dont let u worry ..dont want to argue with u ..bcoz i really scare u dump me..

i know u are changing as well..i can see ur changes.. but there is one thing..

we NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THINKING..NEVER WILL AGREE TO EACH OTHER.. even when we do agree that time, we are not really, we just hope to stay togather, so just accept and ignore.. as just like what i said..

this is why everytime, same situation hapen, we still argueing for that..

and i hope to tell u one thing


"when u did something wrong, DONT LET ME FIND OUT,
coz once i find out, i will feel HURT , SAD, and MAD. this is because :

i feel HURT that why u can do such thing to hurt me, not u say that u only love me, and will sayang me and wont hurt me like other do? why u dint tell me honestly?

i feel SAD when i think of why u wana lie to me? i already give u chance that u can choose between me and her. u choosed me.. i really love you, but i found out my care for u make u run away.. i am really sad

I feel MAD is because, i already give u few chances, why u still doing so and HURT ME AGAIN?

when i find out already, PLEASE BE HONEST TO ME, because when i find out already, u still trying to use other reason to cover, will make me more angry only.

and lao gong, when u said u r sorry, u promise u will do better in next, i hope u keep ur promise..

BUT ONE IMPORTANT THING TO REMIND...

NOT everytime when u apologize, i MUST ACCEPT and FORGIVE u..
u feel unfair when u already sincerely apologise.. and i dont forgive u??

then i ask u.. how about me? do u feel UNFAIR that i really love u.. and u did hurt me for ONE AND HALF YEAR?

is not a short period.. i do trust in u.. i do trust in u before..i use reason and tell myself i should trust in u..

but u make me dissapointed alot of time..

when u asked me yesterday, why i do not trust in u..honestly..how i should answer???


and sometime, really, what U REACT, REALLY GIVE ME SIGNAL that u still care on her.. i am not u..i dono what is really in ur heart..

try stand on my point of view.. one day u found out,the one u love, lie to u, and when u both sweet sweet togather that time, she promise u she will love u only, miss u that day.. and NOW U FIND OUT.. that day she say miss u, she also say miss to other ppl..

do u know.. how the feeling when now, u both togather..but when the time she msg u said miss u..how u will feel?? will u think of..if she honeslty truely miss me? or is the same missing other ppl as well?

do u know.. how hard i try to OVERCOME THIS FEELING??? TO TELL MYSELF..THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT..U REALLY MISS ME..ONLY ME???

i know maybe other ppl wont think like this..

i know i should not think back last time.. i really feel ur better now..i really do see ur changes.. i know u work hard on this.. i started to feel ur warm..but i really QUESTIONING MY SELF...CAN I REALLY DO IT? ???

i really try hard..i really do..I TRIED HARD to trust in u and let go last time..but it is very easy to remind me again..

i really no idea how to think ..

2nd........

do u know why i always request you to give me a present? i am not really want a present..all i want is the heart ..the heart that u, YOURSELF, WANA PRESENT something to me..THE FEELING thta when u go shopping, u FEELS THERE IS SOMETHING some products will make u remember of me, wana give it to me.. do u know.. untill now..i also keep remember u said u will PRESENT ME A GIFT AS FOR late christmas present.. i told u..even is a card i also ok..but till now..i also haven get it..
i am really a stupid person, i really will sometimes, hope to get a small present from u..i doesnt care that is a hand made card, a picture of yourself, a small bear bear, a scarf, a pen or even a bottle... is...i just hope u can do what u promise me..

3rd......
last time, i wont tell u how i feel, i wont raise out my opinion, is u teach me that i should say out what i want, how i feel, i am learning.. thats y sometime, when we argue..i really think u misunderstand what i mean, i will keep EXPLAINING TO U, i just ..in my heart..i just wan to explaining..i am really sorry if i really say it loud or how..because..i very scare people "MISUNDAERSTOOD" ME...really sorry..i am really sorry

when yesterday, when i see so much different in me n u..and i really keep trying to tell u how i feel.. i dont want to be missunderstand..i trying HARD TO EXPLANING ..but.. we still have arguemtn..u said I ALWAYS "FEEL HOW U THINK AND PLACE IT TO U..AND NEVER LISTEN TO U"

I REALLY FEEL THAT I AM BAD..I AM NOT GoOD.. why i am like this.. i really do hate myself..

do u know.. i really hope i can have a remote control, go back to the day u apologize with me..this is because....

"我不想要你的道歉,因为,爱我的话,就不会做出一些要和我道歉的事情"

we all know that u love him more than he do..

"we all know that u love him more than he love you"

this sentense, i hear alot of time before, even some of you guys said i am really stupid, why i can tahan all this.

I really do not know, what i know is, i will do my best, to be a good galfriend.I really hope we can be good good togather.

Honestly, i really trying my best, there is alot of things u done i also forgive u. some times when i feel something, when i ask u, u said nothing, u gave me your reason, i also try to believe is true.

even end up, i found out u lie, when u apologise, i also forgive u.

but WHY? why that day my ex call me, u argue with me, u tell me how suffer u are because he keep contact and wana find me out . is already half year, my ex still find me, u feel suffer.

i really hope to tell u, my ex find me half year..u suffer
ur ex keep continue to find u more than 1 year and half.. who is more suffer????

2nd.. he find me within half year..i NEVER MEET HIM ONCE... u suffer...
ur ex find u in 1 and a half year... u meet her more than 5 times.. i dont suffer izit???

i am very sad, when i am trying to tell u, i know how u feel when my ex find me..i really wan to tell u, i will not meet him.. I WILL TALK TO HIM, SAY MY BF DOESNT LIKE, DONT FIND ME.. i really plan to tell him..when i talking this to u..i never thought u will yield at me and said dont talk about ur ex.. dont talk others..now is talkng bout my ex..

i just wana tell u the different.. i wana let u know..how to do is the BEST WAY for both of us..

I just wana tell u..i will tell him we stop contact..and i will do it..to show u..
to let u FEEL BETTER..

i HOPE U WILL do the same for me.. u know.. u always said..u dont hv feeling with her anymore..but u did not do any thing like i will THINK TO DO IT ..TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER... u dint answer her call is because i REQUEST.. not u will think of doing it..

u know.. this is really different...
i request u do.. and u decide ypurself to do so..is much much different!!!

like me.. i can dont 1 answer his call.. because i think this will hurt u.. u know why i answer his call?

sorry to say so..but sometime..i really purposely 1.. i am trying to tell u how i feel...

but end up..i find out is very bad..and i really stop answering his call..

i do not know how to express my feeling.. bt u really did not take initiative to get out of her and make me feel more secure...

i really do now how to tell u all this..

actually..that day onwards..i really still mind alot.. i mind that u stop me from saying.. u dont gv me the chance..

a New Year.. i hope is a brand new start

31th dec 09, we argue again. but also because of this arguement, make me have a clear mind that we both really change for each other. I felt great when you try hard to tell me how u feel in a nicer way. Honestly, before i go mei mun house, i really feel complicated, i really hope u enjoy with your friends, but i also hope u spend with me the time which u had promised.

End up, we go for both places togather. I am really happy because i really feel ur care and how much important i am to you. And that day we win some money in the genting casino, haha, do u know, i feel happy, really really happy, but is not because of i win money, is because i spend time with u.

1st Jan 2010. a brand new day for us, both of us spend time togather, earlierin the morning when i wake up, i saw u. this feeling is really nice, i like u hug me and kiss me to tell me how much u love me. Even we just go to see doc, then shop a while to buy snacks, it was really awesome..the feeling is great.

2nd jan 10, haha we cook togather 2day, really fun, but i know u dont like the spegatti sause right, really sorry for that, hope next time can cook other meals to you. is really fun when we cook and try togather.. try this and that, i really 1st time cook so much thing on my own.. haha especially the mushroom..haha really hope u like it.. i know is not delicious, but i will try harder next time..

Do you know, that day onwards, i keep tell myself, i must trust you, trust u can do what u promise. i do not know u realise or not. even that day, ron told u ephine was at genting that new year eve, we saw her pic on facebook. my heart feel uncomfortable, i really worry u will back to her, when u look at her pic, i will think, will u miss her or .........i hate myself like this.. i promise i will b better..

i try to control myself and dont mind so much. i do not know u realise this or not.. just i hope i can work hard to make u feel better...

3th jan 10.. when u fetch me home, i got a hard day at home, mom really angry on me, and what she do n react really make me feels hard.. but i am really thank you that u sms and acc me..

i wont forget that u call me when u are home.. then u said u wana sleep.. 10 minutes later..u called me.. and u said..

" I miss you so much, just want to tell u i really miss u..good niight "

new year, new hope, new wishes...

I HOPE WE BOTH WILL BE GOOD GOOD TOGATHER.