times up!!!!

end up.. i dint answered ur call..

haha..tears cant stop droping...

i am doing something stupid?

i just dont hope to get hurt again..

i receive ur mail..
"duno u will c this email onot?

duno y i realy ganjiong.. duno wat will hapen later? duno u will answer my call onot?

if u answer then how? can talk nicely? or argue again? wat ur respond to me? talk in nice way? or still in moody conversation?

alot question in my mind.. realy duno wat will hapen later.. hope to chat with u but duno wat can i say.

will i say something wrong again? can i control my voice? can i control my mind and talk nicely?

realy duno how.. left 20 minute only. how?

hope i can just hug u and forgot all the thing."


i really hope to hug u and forgot all those..

but end up..

u still dint do what i want..

i just told u yesterday..

ALL I WANT IS TO FIND ME WHENEVER WE ARGUE..

i do told u alot of time..i do...

at last u also dint...u dint really understand..

this is faith..

we do not really know how to communicate

45 minutes

left 45 minutes, he will call me..

i tell myself dont online and check..u already decided to let go..just do it..

at last. i still go on msn, disappointed once again..NO MESSAGE..

would it be email?

NOPE...

i try to on facebook and see he online or not..hope he is not online..so that i can hope that maybe he is going to my house to look for me right?

WRONG....

he is online.. and never try to chat with me..

hahahahahah..why i am so funny..i am the one who dont talk to people..why still hope people to find me?

maybe this is gal..

stupid gal thinking..

should i go drink now?

or i might need it later

First time

This is the first time I totally ignore u call.. I really do not know what should I do..
We know, in our heart we know how sanfu we are when we togather..

I really love u.. I really do not know why I love u so much.. So much untill u hurt me one n another.. Untill I forgive and trust u one time and one time..

I really dint change on my attitude?

I got..

Do u know everytime when I hope to do anything .. And u don't like and ask me stop from doing, did u really see on my facial expression? How sad I am? While for working, u said wanna protect mr don't allowe meet agent, do u know how sanfu I am? But I still follow what u say..

Just I easy get mad because u really control me alot.. No matter in outfit to thinking..

When I know u say those what bed and kiss all those with other gal.. I really hope when I asked u, u admit n say sorry and will never do so.. While is not admit when I show u evidence.. Is not telling me only kidding with her, and untill I found out other gals then tell me u FORGOT..

I think whole day, still stupidly hope u will come and find me today.. U know ur sister bday, just after can find me?
Hahahahah can u stop act like stupid? He won't do so.. Yesterday u already give clue to him say hope to see him.. He won't come..

He won't think that will come.. He will say today his sister bday and tomorrow need to work.. Can I don't be like this...

He sent me a MSG just now, he said " Still dunwan answer my call? Later i will call u at 12 sharp. Duno u wana answer ont? Bt if u din answer then i know wat u mean ad. Then i wont disturb u anymore. Hope u will answer. At least v cn hav a nice talk."

should I answer?

I know that he won't really understand what I want, he might understand, but is just a part... This means we shouldn't go on right? Shouldn't make both suffer right?

I really can't let go.. For me, he still like ephine.. He do really love her.. He said before, she is happy go lucky, he ofcoz prefer happy go lucky.. He do said before to his friend..

When she message u, I very worry, because everytime when she start message u, then things will happen again, we will argue for that and u will once fall in love with her again.. She is really your type, she is really so positive thinking..

I hate myself which not happy go lucky..

I really can't forgot what u did, is still feel pain when think of what u did, I can't forget the pain, can't stop thinking.

We can't be togather, because in future, if we marry, we argue back all this, no points right?

I can't let go, that's why I can't own ...

Everytime

Everytime after we argue, timing also not ngam ..
I am those who wan to discuss now.. While u can wait..
Is this call u not ganjiong me?
Hahaha

I hope to stop thinking

disappointed

i am really sad, do not know what should i do. we are clear that we have so many problems. what else we should do?

i request u to change, but u dint. u request me to change but i dont.

end up we are like pushing ourself to accept each other.

is this the way should go?

i thinking of doing something stupid just now, really really stupid,, i just cant handle stress.. yes i am useless.. i cant handle stress..

since i was young till now..i always feel unfair.. i am hopeless..

i go out.. i dont answer your call all those..

but when i reach home.. i still hoping u will be at downstair waiting for me.. like u do for her...

yes..i always compare me n her.. this is what u turn me to..

when i was young i compare myself to sister.. now i compare myself to other gal..

i am tired..

i not want to..is u make it..i really treat u good..is u make me cant trust in u..

why u wana push me to here..]]i am really scare...

i really dono what will i do

Really sad...

I really feel that I am idiot.. I feel so ashame of myself..

Why u treat me like this, like never treat me as human.. U dint appreaciate me. Dint zhun zhong me.

Why I still in love and treat u so good?

I looking at what u lie to me.. I really

Hmm hmmm what should I?

My agent keep fb with me, but just simply chat! Dint flirt don't simply talk. We really say works thing.
Not I selfish, but I am really a agak person, I where got flirt with guy say do u miss me? Really don't have.

While u, sorry, I not really trust in u because u lied before.

When people MSG me, you saw the MSG straight away turn your face. Okay understand that u not feeling well. I can tum you.

But how about yesterday? She SMS you again! What u do or say to me make me feel more better?

NOTHING!!!!

Okay is fine..

I really dono what else I can say anymore, that's why I keep quiet only!


Next two week I got to go training for two week. Ask u tonight how? Go u there stay or how?

Why I ask?

Tomorow u Ned to go ur relative there wedding party, I really dino I should go or not! Last time my fren wedding is I ask u go. I hope this u decide for me also. If tomorow dint stay u there, then tonight I will go. Coz really can't see u two weeks

Bur u tell me u might go office tomorow morning.. Honestly, I dono what for u go there.. Just simply chit chat?

I really nothing, just wonder if I say I Saturday might go meet colleague for discuss work thing n won't stay u there.. Dino u okay or not!

I am sure u say, if I am going for working purpose u are okay

but now the point is" I going to office, see what to do"

hahahaga

hai hai

i never expect that i will get " hai hai" as a conversation start from you.

this means?

our relationship is only a friendship?

hahaha... is u say dont want to change anything.. will give me time to consider.. want me report anything to you.. but end up.. u are the one who say so 1st..

hai hai...


wahahahahah

My feeling ........ Accurate?

" I goin home, go eat 1st"

this sentense means? U will go eat but dint tell me who u eat with. CORRECT?

Afternoon, when u eat with Irene, u also dint mention, I though u eat alone. When I know u having lunch with colleague, I am really okay, just u request me to report to u. Then why don't u do so?

I told u this, then u said sorry. When I asked u, if u don't one to report is okay, just let me know. But then u answer u dint think so.

But what u do is don't one report!

Am I idiot?

I just care on what our commitment!

If u feel hard to report, then so do I! We just stop reporting, that is fine!
But if u require me to report and u dint, then I feel unfair.

Hahaha, u sure said I always dint report right?

Yaya.. We keep argue for this stupid issue!

I can feel, really can feel. Today u not really treat me as a gf when u reply.

When I tell u how stress in my work, u said do not know what u should say. I already feel heartless!

Okay.. Too many complain..

AlL is my fault right, we having fun time togather, is I am the one who messy it up right? My fault right?

I really dono how to tell u the feeling when I told u I hope to stay u there, I am not well and hope u hug me tightly.
And end up u say " are u sure u wana stay here? U said u need to go home"
then I tell u once again my problem why I Ned to go home and I mention I really hope u accompany me.
U just ask me , then how?

I want u to give some idea with me, discuss togather what should we do, not ask me decide want to go home on my own!

How am I gonna express my feeling?

I don't hope that I try so hard to stay with u, and u like so simply ask me decide, is my decision, u can't make this kind decision for me!

And what make me surprise is, when I told y I am going negeri sembilan tomorrow, u dint call me ask me why, but just SMS.. And dint ask anymore about it.
My feeling is u sien of argue-ing so dint really hope to reply much?
Dint care for me anymore?
Or u will say " don't simply put my own feeling to u?"
u want to say is .... Wanna discuss with me when u back home.. And I misunderstand u. U really did care for me?

Tears drop slowly whole day!
I can't cry out, but it drops silently ....

take note!

i think these are those issue that we need to take note :

1. we have different thinking, different style of living, different attitude.

2. u lied more than 3 times, i dont really trust on you. i will always think that isit u got sweet chat with other gal as u do with your friend?

3. u always said u understand me, asked me why i dint turn back and think about how u feel too.

4. "i always feel that", this is a issue which is unfair for u.

5. always want me to decide, which i dont like, i like to solve together.

6. i think that i am the one who always want u accompany me, show how care to you. but u said u did say u want me to accompany you, show your care, but i dint notice.

7. i always go for expensive food. but which i think to enjoy all different food with u.

8. i think that i go meet agent is because i am working, u do not allow, i am really okay, just that dont say untill i hope to go meet agent is because i wana kau zai like that.. i got asked my self, if u say that wana go meet gals for working purpose, what will i think? i can answer u that, i will feel uncomfortable, because i can sure u will chat with them, and i know u, i know u are friendly and talkative people.. thats why i worry. sorry to say so.. but what u did last time, is really like TATOO in my heart.. i cant swap off..

9. u always tired and sleep when i got important thing i wana chat with u. if u wana sleep, i am really okay, but please, please dont when u, yourself! you ask me to discuss it now, and end up u sleep!!! i know you tired, i dint force u to accompany to listen those nonsense..but.. for me, i really hope someone that important to me know what is happening on me.. if u tired, i will let u rest. just dont ask me to say and then u fall asleep.

10. i am really " PO MAH" i know this.. because of this, i make a lot mistake, and bad decision. i very regret i dint go UK, and because of this, i always argue with u, know that u got chance to meet other gal, and chat with her.. until i find ou t all, and now my heart..... get hurt

lastly, u made it!!

U did it!!!

U did bring me to Malacca at last. Do u know how happy I am when i know that we are confirm going?

I do really enjoy in the trip, do u know, i keep thinking what should we do in the trip, where should we go. haha, I cant really sleep last few night untill i fall in sick a day before we go for the trip.

Honestly, i do not really like the apartment, because, i always think that we can enjoy our trip and sleep nicely at night, but this apartment, really can say is the bad environment i ever stay at.

why end up i still choose this apartment? i know i very "mahfan" but, i just dont hope u "pik cik" after this trip, i am human, not animal, i will think!!

i cant just simply want to stay nicer hotel then want u to pay extra for that. we dont have much money to spend on that. hope u understand.. i really hope that we can solve problem togather and not ask me to decide.. maybe u dint notice, u really did ask me to decide everything..

haha..no blame this time .. just wana thank you for make me feel secure when sleep at the apartment. i know that i make u cant sleep well..sincerely apologise..

i really appreciate that u really bring me to go for the trip!

maybe is because i keep on mention every week. but do u know, i really hope to go trip with u, very hope to.

u wont know my strong feeling for that, or maybe u dont think is so serious..

thanks alot for the trip!

u did keep your promise..

and..nothings else u owe me lo..

thanks..i really do appreciate..